As a wedding industry business coach I can confidently say that almost everyone will at some point experience jealous or comparison-itis in this industry.
I guarantee everyone feels this way at some point of their career (especially at the beginning) maybe you even feel it daily.
I’m here to tell you that’s ok.
In fact its normal and human.
The question is what do you do about it?
Do you lock yourself in a dark room, spiral into negativity and despair? Does it paralyse you? Does it make you wan to throw the towel in and quit?
Can you harness this natural reaction into something which can propel you and your business in an upward trajectory?
Firstly – lets look under the bonnet of your jealousy – what specifically is it that’s triggering you?
Are you comparing your career start to someone’s middle or end?
Are you assuming they haven’t been working towards this moment for years?
Are you confusing luck / right place / right time for hustle and hard work?
Why do you think people are successful? Did it just happen over night or have they been working for this for years? Late nights, cancelled partner dates, early mornings & the benefit of experience and prioritisation.
Can I suggest that you flip your mindset slightly…
- If they can do it… I can too. There is nothing stopping you. We all have things which are tough for us – everyone has their own hurdles, no one has it easy. If you don’t have a baby you have more than double the amount of time I have. If you are low on funds you have to harness your imagination and creativity and use what little you have to create more – Jasmine Star is an excellent example of this. Some people have mental health issues which stop them from putting themselves out there fully.
- Talent is overrated…Practice and dedication is worth so much more. I’m not sure I even truly believe in talent. I cringe if ever anyone calls me talented – it detracts from all my hard work, the investment in myself and my development. I’m not talented, I just work hard. At school I was never the smartest kid in the room but I can tell you I was one of the hardest workers & I managed to leave school with As, A*s across the board, not because I’m a genius but because I wanted it and I was prepared to work for it.
- Compliments & Karma…That person you’re jealous of…If its possible, can you reach out to them and compliment them and tell them you are watching what they’re doing and you’re inspired by them. Worst case scenario they ignore you and you haven’t lost anything BEST case scenario – they reply and you have just established a new inspiring relationship maybe even mentor! Take your negative thoughts and turn them into something helpful.
I know it’s been said before but remember that what someone puts out there is just their highlights, their best bits, their top moods, you don’t know whats going on in people personal lives. I have had experiences where Ive felt jealous of other photographers, and have reached out to them to compliment them only for them to reply and genuinely thank me because they have been struggling with their confidence and mental health and my compliment has really touched them.
Julie is a wedding industry business coach who was named number 7 of the top 45 UK Wedding Photographer Everyone Wants to Book by One Fab Day wedding blog with a passion for helping fine art wedding photographers find their way & succeed. She has run a wildly successful workshop called The Nordic Way for Fine Art Wedding Photographers & is SO excited to now be offering one to one coaching for ambitious (slightly introverted) fine art wedding photographers. Read more about her thoughts on dealing with rejection as a wedding photographer HERE